You are currently browsing the daily archive for December 4, 2014.

What I am about to tell you may come as a surprise.  Brace yourself.  Find a safe place to sit.  This is THE. BIG. ONE.


When men-folk are interested in lady friends, they let them know with very clear words.

Hold it! That’s not all.

The men-folk will actually call, schedule a date, say how much they are looking forward to seeing you and make plans.

It is so f***ing amazing. No guess work. No “is he interested.” No “should I call him/will he call me.” Nope. If the men want something, they ask for it and pursue it. Who knew?

Online Guy did that. No guess work. In fact, tonight, he asked if I was free for a little bit, though we have plans for Sunday. Gitchy instinct kicked in: Dorothy dear, when you drop everything and run, you don’t get the respect you want and you usually end up in booty-call territory. 

I told Online Guy I was wrapping up for the night and would see him on Sunday. It was the truth. I had plans to do some work on my house tonight.

Under full knowledge of my counselor and my sponsor and without having committed to anything with any one person, I’ve also made plans with Tall Dude. Tuesday night. My sponsor’s only suggestion, “Don’t date five guys at once, please. You don’t have the time.”

OK, I’ll date four. And a half.

Tall Dude and I exchanged the customary protected emails on the “Lots of ‘Em to Love” website (not a real website–I hope). We moved on to the real emails. We escalated to texts. “I’m meeting some friends for a ski trip this weekend,” he wrote. “I leave Thursday and get back Sunday. I’d really like to talk to you before I leave.”

He actually scheduled a time to call me when it was most convenient for me. Then, he called when he said he was going to call. Holy sh*t, who knew men could actually be like this?

For over two hours, we talked in a winding and wonderful way, each word clicking and growing, learning tales of our lives. He’s a practicing Catholic and was intrigued and impressed when I told him about my conversion during my divorce.

“I don’t always get it right. And I’m still so new I have to use the cheat sheets during Mass,” I said. “And I admit: sometimes I miss Mass.”

“Me, too. Sometimes I just have so much to get done on Sundays,” he said. “Maybe we could help each other get back to going more often.”

“I’d like that.”

God? Um, God? Excuse me a sec… Um, is this one of those prayer answers? ‘Cuz just last Sunday, I was doing the whole kneeling and praying in Church thing and I was asking for this, for the man who would kneel with me. And I was telling You about how important finding someone who had similar spiritual practices. Um, is this him? Or, is this another one of those “Dorothy has a lesson to learn,” and I’m going to find out a year from Tall Guy has a wife and 10 kids? I’m liking this one. 

“Do you know we’ve been talking for over two hours?” Tall Guy said when we paused for a breath.

“Really? I had no idea.”

“I would like to see you,” he said.

“I’d like to see you, too.” Actually, I’m not sure which one of us said it first. It sort of poured out in unison.

“I don’t want to have to wait until next weekend. May I see you during the week? Tuesday? Wednesday?” he asked. “I can come by you. You name the place.” He lives about an hour from me.

“I’d like that. Let me check my work calendar. I don’t have it with me. But, yeah, I really want to meet you.”

Tuesday. 7:00. We have plans.

Best part: He’s tall. And Catholic.

My options stay open. I’m tasting the various flavors, refining more each time exactly what I want, choosing not to chase the impossible, and listening to my gitchy-feeling instinct — the one that God gave me for a reason.

Who knew that there were actually intelligent, successful, attractive, spiritual men with great senses of humor who would be interested in dating me? As I told my therapist, I don’t have to sell my soul to the lowest bidder. In fact, I don’t have to sell my soul at all.


December 2014


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